Our automatic patterns don't exist in isolation. They often need a dance partner.
If we are close to someone who benefits from our automatic pattern or has a corresponding pattern that fits like two jigsaw pieces, it can become codependent. This is true whether the patterns are functional or dysfunctional.
For example, someone driven to seek approval will work well with someone driven to control. Until that dynamic becomes dysfunctional because the first person won't share their opinions in team meetings, or groupthink happens when the second person is around.
This is the foundation of Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT), a framework and therapy I'm trained in. CAT examines the reciprocal patterns and roles we take in relationships. Our patterns are often sustained by others, even when everyone involved has less than ideal outcomes.
CAT teaches pattern holders to find ways to shift the roles we take with each other. This way we change our relationships and free ourselves from automatic patterns.
In workplaces, these reciprocal patterns operate not just between individuals but between whole teams, departments, and systems. Just like individual patterns, their relationships can be functional or dysfunctional. When dysfunctional, they cause reduced performance and satisfaction for everyone involved.
The power lies in recognition. When we see these reciprocal roles clearly, we can choose whether to keep playing them or step into something different.
This understanding is why I'm expanding my work to include workplace and organisational mediation. Real change often requires shifting the dance between people and systems, not just working on individual patterns.
Do you see any reciprocal roles operating around you at work? Or with your team?
If you're curious about exploring these dynamics in your team or organisation, I'd love to discuss how mediation and pattern work can create breakthrough moments rather than just managing recurring friction.
#Silverlinings #leadership #patterns #workplacedynamics #mediation
