Is your high performer/performance causing frictions?
What's it like working with someone with who has a pattern of Absolutism Grip*?
When an individaul has an automatic pattern of emotions, thoughts and behaviours that lead them to have a tight control with high standards of themselves and others and not much ability to scale this up or down according to the circumstance there are huge advantages! They are always on it. Let's face it, we want exceptional, thorough and high satisfaction of stakeholders. We want the reliability and trust that enables us to know that work we need is going to be done, probably better than if we were doing it ourselves! They are most likely our highest performer on most dimensions.
And...someone who is running with the Absolutism Grip pattern can require some managing.
Let's take Sarah who was managing Amanda (fictional amalgamation of coaching clients), an incredibly powerful high achieving leader with an Absolutism Grip that was causing some friction:
Everything that Amanda was responsible for or involved in was important and nothing could be prioritised.
Working relationships internally had tensions because Amanda's pattern led to others experiencing pressures and intensity that they didn't enjoy or agree with.
Progress was prevented because of perfectionism. Workflow and other people's timelines were impacted.
Delegation was difficult for Amanda and Sarah was noticing team inefficiencies and a lack of learning and development opportunities shared.
Amanda's stakeholders were coming to expect over delivery. Scope creep was common and discrepancies in service given by Amanda and her peers was drawing attention.
Amanda's team were complaining of micromanaging and were displaying lower levels of psychological safety and empowerment to make decisions
Amanda couldn't see where to let go or ease up and Sarah was seeing this lead to a higher level of physical and emotional pressure. Sarah was worried not only about not only her wellbeing but also the modelling of this behaviour to others in the workplace.
Amanda is Sarah's natural successor. But how can she take on a higher level role, with a more strategic focus and a larger portfolio of responsibilities if she couldn't loosen her grip?
The answer lies in the pattern, not the behaviours.
A formulation of the pattern, of where it kicks in, how it kicks in, what emotions, thoughts and behaviours, how it gives us gains and shadow is needed. The pattern is much larger than a specific behaviour such as perfectionism or micromanaging. When we have a full formulation, we are in a much better position to keep the gains of our patterns and at the same time losing the frictions.
What patterns do you notice in your team? How would you map out the formulation so that you can see the choice points for deliberate employment of the pattern or a scaled down or 'off pattern' version.
If you want to explore these dynamics in your team or in you as an individual, reach out to hear more about coaching, team coaching or keynotes!
This blog is a summary of a section in my upcoming book on de-patterning - yet to to be named! Let me know if you have any suggestions!
*see previous #Silverlinings for details on the key patterns.