How much are you sacrificing by managing other people's impressions of you?
Impression management is the term used to describe the behaviour of presenting the version of ourselves we think is appropriate for the people in front of us. This is good right?! Yes, lots of good things there, imagine if everyone knew what you were actually thinking?!
So impression management is good, yes, until it's not.
Last week when I was running an offsite for an Exec Team, we noted how impression management was restricting their own team performance and their leadership of others:
It can add layers which make it hard to connect emotionally
It can put extra stress on conversations, a distance from 'reality' as we self-screen
It can distract from the content as we answer for others' impressions rather than our own position
honest curiosity becomes harder as we are trying to steer the conversation
It can make decisions harder as we weigh up the impact of our choices on different people's perceptions of the decision
Ah, how it feeds negative self-talk as we talk to ourselves!
It can powerfully contribute to our loss of connection with self
In other words, impression management costs us energy, efficiency, cognitive diversity, honesty, courage, and connection and ultimately increases fear.
Tips:
For your own impression management: Become aware of your impression management, the strengths it provides and the shadows it casts....pay attention to where it really blocks you and the relationships you are forming or the work you are completing. Practice self-management by experimenting with your impression management. There may be a small deliberate low-risk experiment that would enable you to provide a bigger playing field for yourself (join me on The Courage Club app if you fancy figuring out what that could look like).
For others' impression management: Noticing difficulties in connecting with others, low levels of cognitive diversity, and lack of vulnerability or courage (same same) in those around you would all be a sign that other people's impression management had started to block you from being where you want. Being able to help people feel safe is how we can help them lower some of their screening. Once people feel safe they can reveal more about what they are truly thinking and how they are feeling.
How much are you sacrificing by managing other people's impressions of you?
Managing our own and others' impression management one of the skills I aim to help people learn to foster psychologically safe spaces (aka high-performing teams).
Public Series
I am doing public workshops this November:
22nd of November: Psychological Safety workshop for People Leaders
24th of November: Courage, how to build it and how to manage fear, worry and anxiety while you do!
To get more details about these Public Workshops click here.
More information about the series will be dropped on Instagram/FB/Linkedin in the coming weeks.
TAKING BOOKINGS FOR KEYNOTE SPEAKING FOR 2022/2023 (virtual/physical) Email Ellen via support@dramysilver.com to check dates for your event if you want your audience to understand how to stop fear interfering (with us as individuals or groups) so we head safely into our most powerful future together.