How do you self sabotage to appease your fear?
When fear becomes the loudest guest in our heads, it can work against us in the most destructive ways. The solution we chose to appease our internal fears varies. Perhaps you will recognise some of these:
staying quiet so we don’t put ourselves at risk of attack or rejection
keeping control so we don’t put ourselves at risk of failure or dependency on others
being critical of others, blaming, or playing the victim so we don’t have to face our own areas of growth
keeping hold of things that no longer serve us so we don’t have to face the unknown or uncomfortable.
not making decisions for fear of getting it wrong or for being responsible
This week Kate McIntyre asked me to share my thoughts on how fear contributes to compulsive hoarding for an article in The Herald Sun.
As I told Kate, the key to all self-sabotaging behaviour is fear. That is why it is so important we educate ourselves on how to manage it.
“While you may see your loved one’s hoarding as a problem, the process of hoarding is usually thought of as a “solution” by the person doing it.”
It is important to not take people’s destructive behaviour at face value but to look deeper into the fear behind it.
The behaviour is the person's solution, the best one they have.
And just a little reminder.... Your self-sabotaging behaviour is often your solution to appease your fears....is it time for a better one?
Read the article from Herald Sun here...
Exec/Senior Leadership Coaching
Do the crucial inner work that drives sustainable, enjoyable high performance at work and the legacy you desire.
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