A high performing team should be able to have difficult conversations successfully
The opportunity to come ‘out’ of the norm
Self-awareness is where all our potential power comes from
The original behaviours don’t have to be experienced to create a strong imprint.
Psychological safety is not the opposite of holding people to high standards through accountability. If we did that, then psychological safety would drive complacency.
Concentrate on the pride you feel before you dilute it with your next goal
There is little you can’t do if you want. Really, very little. Your mind is smart and your body is privileged. Often, we think of ourselves as not capable to do something when the truth is we just haven't ruthlessly prioritised it.
In some cases, of course, it makes sense to start on the ‘why’ of change. But in others, the ‘why not?’ is the easiest place to start for a sustainable change.
Even though theoretically we think collaboration is a good idea, understanding the practice of why it isn't, gives us a good understanding of where we sit.
Do you see polite but not constructive conversations?
Do any/all team members struggle to step up for new tasks or solution finding?
Do you see unequal contribution/airtime across the group?
Do you see any behavioural signs of the intention to dismiss or diminish others’ contribution?
Do the conversations have an emotional charge that seems inappropriate to the task or conversation at hand?
Can you see some team members who are able to contribute more but don’t?
- identify what is holding you back
- you are bigger than your thoughts
- view courage as a muscle
I was watching my five-year-old play soccer this weekend, in the rain (you may applaud my parental fortitude now). While standing there shivering with hands in pockets huddled together with other wet parents, several things occurred to me.
The 16 players ran their little hearts out, getting muddy knees and sweaty foreheads as they spent their energy furiously. There was no lack of effort. In fact, they kept going even when the whistle was blown. Yet, their energy spent was not always directional, sometimes (read, a lot of the times) their focus was not the goals. I’m not sure they would have cared if they’d crossed the boundaries into the next playing field and continued onwards into the dog park. The clump of players, with furrowed frowns, tussled up and down the pitch, back and forth battling against each other, even when in the same team. I even wondered (as I watched them through my steamed up glasses) whether being in ‘the clump’ had become a greater goal for the players than the goal goals.
Sports heroes are often used as shining examples of leadership excellence and remarkable team collaboration because the analogies to business are so helpful. And, after watching my son this weekend, I was reminded of not one single one of them. But, I did think how much we have to learn from the analogies that the other end of the spectrum give us.
Remarkable collaboration means:
focusing on the things that lead to achievement and limiting the energy spent elsewhere
remembering the goal even when distracted
having clear boundaries
passing to each other (less clumping) so you cover a more extensive area with less effort
stepping above clump behaviour (the psychology of group behaviour)
making sure all the grownups have coffee
Amy helps individuals, teams and organisations collaborate courageously for remarkable achievements. Sign up so you catch all her posts www.DrAmySilver.com/silverlinings and see her website for details on programs available or contact Amy's team on hello@DrAmySilver.com. COMING SOON!!!! Free webcast on how to maximise collaboration in public service and event in Melbourne - details on website www.DrAmySilver.com.
Some groups and cultures work well together, increasing their cognitive diversity and achieving more, quicker. Others are full of increased risk and trapped intelligence. Trapped by fear of being devalued by others, or fear of difficult situations and conversations, or trapped by ineffective communication.
To elevate group capability using The Safe Space methodology we ask the following three questions.
1) Do the individuals in the team understand how to activate their best self and when they get triggered into behaviours that are unhelpful? What can be done to increase the awareness of our own individual triggers, to find a space between an event and our reaction, so we can choose the best response?
2) Do the individuals in the team understand how they trigger others best self? Creating the space for others to contribute their full value is a smart move if you want to acheive more. What can you do to increase your awareness of how your own behaviour impacts what others are able to do?
3) How committed are we to the team entity, not just our own contribution? Our ego and our beliefs often have to shift from the cultural norm.
A starting point for you to drive your team/culture achievement might be for you to take these three questions to your colleagues and have a conversation about how you are doing.
...stay the same. Updating your well-worn paths of behaviour is like updating your software. It may be a painful process you want to put off, but by staying agile, nimble and flexible in your thinking and behaviour, you are protecting yourself from becoming obsolete.
A few weeks ago I was mentoring a very experienced coach, let's call him Frank. He was trying to help a team adapt to new ways of working but struggling to help them move forward. He reported that several of the team members were rigidly holding onto the belief that 'same as usual' was the best approach for their practice. Frank saw that if the rigid team members held on too tight to the status quo, they would put themselves at risk of being rejected as obsolete by those more flexible.
What Frank didn't see so easily, was the inflexibility in his own beliefs, and his strong habits of behaviour. For example, he tightly held the belief that (a) adoption of his preferred approach (Agile practice) was the only way the team would progress and (b) that each of his team colleagues had to be converted to his planned approach before he could start to help them move forward. This led to all sorts of battles of words and wills and a whole heap of frustration. If he wasn't careful, people could start to see him as irrelevant and he would become obsolete.
As Kahneman wrote in his book Think, Fast and Slow, sometimes we are not only 'blind to the obvious' but we are also 'blind to our blindness'.
- What well-worn paths don’t you even see?
- Are you agile in your thinking?
- What updates are pending for your behaviours?
- And perhaps more importantly, what checks do you have on yourself so you can spot your rigidity?
We can protect ourselves from becoming obsolete by not holding too tightly to our beliefs about being 'right', and making sure our behaviour stays agile. For me, I intentionally update myself by choosing the sometimes painful option of being with people or tasks that challenge my thinking and my behaviours, I keep trying to stretch my listening powers and of course, I welcome and try (!) very hard to stay open to feedback. I'd love to hear your intentional updates.
I often ask myself, ‘Why am I here?’.
This is not (just) an effect of ageing! It is a conscious checking-in process that I hope drives me to activate my best self.
When we, for example, are obliged to attend a group meeting there is a temptation for us to consciously split our attention between the room we are in, and the other things that seem a better use of our time (to check our emails on our phone or to start making lists of tasks to complete). I know, I know, you're thinking 'I never do that!!!!'. Ok, so for those of us who are human, one of the things that might help us is if we use a question of attention to help our engagement. To interrupt our habitual pattern of divided attention, our habit of distraction, we can ask ourselves with curiosity, 'Why am I here?'. By doing so we actively rather than passively attend our time.
Attention is a muscle that we need to build.
In The Safe Space, we work on making sure that we bring our best selves to the table all the time, so we can extract the best from our time and our colleagues.
This week I spent a fabulous morning listening to the fascinating Malcolm Gladwell, author of Outliers, Blink, etc. One of his key messages was that when we want to improve things, we should think wisely in whom to invest.
He showed a video clip of a goal secured by UK Premier League soccer team Tottenham Hotspur which was preceded by 48 consecutive passes. Each player in the team touched the ball. Had one person played a bad shot it wouldn’t have been a goal. He contrasted this to a basketball team where a single player can cross the entire court on their own and be singularly responsible for the majority of points.
I reflected on my clients, how should or could they invest in improvements in their systems that would lead to the most significant result? Should they invest in the strongest players, as in basketball? On the weakest links as might be wise to do in soccer? Or perhaps the focus should be on the passing between the players, the underlying foundation skills of effective communication and collaboration?
Where would your team benefit most?