“I’ve told you a million times. Keep. Your. Shoes. By. The. Front. Door. Then you won’t lose them!” is a very familiar cry in our household!
“Arghhh…Why don’t they listen” I say in my head (or mutter out loud) while I throw cushions off the couch, or fall to the floor to look under the sofa when looking for elusive shoes.*
Actually, while the frustration is not particularly helpful, “why don’t they listen” is a really good question. But searching for the answer within them is not always helpful. If we want to have more potential to change their behaviour we must search for the answer within us. We can ask ourselves "Why didn't they respond to the way I gave the request last time? What could I say/do differently next time? How can I explore other ways around this? What if I tried x instead of y".
Many people managers think that they have told their colleagues exactly what they need to change for better performance, but feel frustrated when that change doesn’t happen. “How many times do I need to tell them to change?” they ask me. Well the answer is a few. But after no change is shown, perhaps there is no use in saying it again in the same way.
Instead perhaps ask yourself “Why didn't they listen to the way I said it last time?” not in frustration, but with real curiosity. “What could I say/do differently next time? How can I explore other ways around this? Is there something I could do to make this request easier to complete?”.
*Any help on the shoes front would be gratefully received
Amy is an expert in communication for influence. She works with teams and leaders to get underneath the surface and change the real blocks to growth. Join Silverlinings to get tips and tools for growth and engagement at work.Click www.dramysilver.com for details of programs and download free offers.